he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
