I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
