i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
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