Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
