At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
