you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Randomize
