Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
