nut hugger
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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