So drunk its hurt
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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