Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Randomize
