i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
