You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
