So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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