Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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