at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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