I'm lost and stupid without you.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
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