I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
