physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
