Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
