I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Randomize
