CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
