i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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