I'm gonna have a badass scar
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize
