the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
