I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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