Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
