Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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