It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
