I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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