You smell like stripper and shame
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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