Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize
