nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize
