walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize