my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
