so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Randomize
