we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Randomize
