Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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