I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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