well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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