I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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