Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
