i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
