I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
