And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize