I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
