A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize
