got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
