I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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