You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
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