I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
