I wish I could teleport
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
