Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
