There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize