I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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