this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
A bitchslap is in order.
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