You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
