I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Farmville is her only friend.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Randomize