nut hugger
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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