ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize