when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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