I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
