id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
i think i have two assholes
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
