32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Randomize
